Becoming WHOLE Again

30 days of Clean Eating and Taking Back Ownership of my Life

I was active all my life – playing sports and running around from point a to point b, but I always struggled with my weight. I didn’t always eat the best things. And although I ‘went to the gym’ *occasionally* I wasn’t doing the right things.

Around 4 years ago I went on a life-changing fitness journey. As I started to get older, and with obesity a real genetic threat for me, I decided enough is enough. It was time to get in shape. I wasn’t overweight, but I also wasn’t healthy. I got sick all the time. I just didn’t feel good.

So I made a commitment. And stuck to it. The alarm would go off at 5:30 am. It was pitch black in the dead of winter and freezing cold, but I was in the gym by 6am, showered and on the train to White Plains by 7:52 am and in the office by 9am. That was my life. I love/hated it.

HATED: Waking up early. The dark. The freezing 3-block walk to the gym. The actual activity at the gym.

LOVED: 15 minutes into the workout and the pride I felt for making it there. The energy I had as a result of that morning workout all day. The capacity to make smarter decisions about what I was eating. And, of course, the results after many, many workouts that made the sleepy, freezing walks to the gym worth every minute I lost in sleep.

The best part was that I never had a goal weight in mind. I knew my starting weight, and didn’t get on the scale for months later. I was genuinely surprised to see the number starring back at me. It was a number I didn’t think my body was capable of reaching. I felt good. No, actually, I felt on top of the world. And not because of the number, but because, for the first time in my life, I was fit (not ‘skinny’) and I had achieved something I didn’t think I could. Honestly. In my wildest dreams.

And then 2018 happened.

I travel, a lot. I love good food. I work, a lot. I travel for work a lot. And as amazing as my little story is above, I’m human and can still find every excuse not to go to the gym (especially when my gym in the Netherlands is not open 24/7 like my gym was in NY. I can deal with that, but I still don’t understand why the gym opens at 7am instead of 6am – that extra hour is crucial for working people! - and why it closes at 4pm on the weekends. Extremely inconvenient!). We all see where this is going…

So, like everyone else, I made a New Year’s resolution. Everyone makes them. Not many keep them. This year, I have no choice. It’s time to get back on track. No excuses.

Last year my friend Jenna did something called the Whole 30 in January. I had never heard of it before. I instantaneously ruled it out, somewhat tuning out all the limitations as she rattled them off, which included going out for drinks and/or a meal. I mean, what else is there to do?! Caveat: although I disregarded it, I thought it was very commendable she saw it through J

Naturally, when I had my ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOURSELF’ breakdown moment in December, she’s the first person I reached out to:

Me: “Are you doing that Whole 30 thing again in January”

Jenna: “Yes, and so is my friend Celia, whom I want you to meet. We should all do it together!”

And so I changed my tune.

Me: “Count me in!”

WHAT did I just commit to?

I committed to no carbs, sugar, legumes, dairy or alcohol for 30 days. Wait, what?

To prepare, I grabbed one of the official Whole 30 recipe books. I selected the Fast & Easy recipe book. I love to cook, but with my busy schedule, anything that takes more than 30 - 40 minutes is just not feasible. I took the book to the US with me over Christmas and read it from front to back, starting with the intro to the program, understanding the science/theory behind it, and then excitedly made my way through the 120+ recipes, happily earmarking all the deliciousness to come.

With 31 days in the month of January, I planned to start on January 2^nd and go until January 31^st. 30 whole days. So January 2^nd rolled around. I took my initial weight the morning of and off I went.

Whole 30 seems daunting. It’s definitely not easy. You need to do it when you’re not traveling, not entertaining company, not in a position where you can’t make your own meals 3x/day for 30 days. For me, this is nearly IMPOSSIBLE. But let me tell you, it’s doable. If I can do it, I think most people can!

The key is to plan. Meal prep is key, and so that became part of my routine. Every Saturday I’d map out my meals for the week and then Sunday was my grocery shop and meal prep day. This is really hard, especially since it’s unrealistic to reserve 1 full day over the weekend to slave over your meals in the kitchen. But I somehow found at least 2.5-3 hours every Sunday night to cook. Most recipes in my book make servings of 2-4, so I’d make about 3 or 4 different recipes at a time, leave a variety out for the week and freeze the rest.

I really enjoyed the cooking part! Like I said earlier, I genuinely love to cook, and this is proof that if you make the time, there is time.

In the month of January I had 4 different groups of visitors, which means dinners. Dinners out in the world that doesn’t use ingredients you use. What to do, what to do? I did my best! For three of them, I picked my favourite seafood place in AMS, one that is always packed on a Friday night and has a great vibe, but also has something I can eat on the menu. Each time I opted for the cod and roasted veggies and my only alteration: hold the mustard sauce. Done. Easy. Delicious.

The first time I went, I salivated over the bread and butter on the table. Literally. I love bread. I love butter. ESPECIALLY in Europe and especially at this restaurant. I also tried not to think about the chilled white wine just inches away from my reach that I couldn’t have. It was hard, really, really hard. But it came, and it went, and I got over it. In fact, the two additional times I went back with my other friends, I didn’t even care. Willpower at its finest!

It was tough planning lunch meetings for work. I tried to hold some of them in the office so I could bring my own lunch, or strategically plan to pick the restaurant that I knew would have a salad + protein that didn’t involve a million substitutions. After all, this isn’t the US and that is not a thing here anyway. You cannot go to a restaurant and do the very-American: “I’ll have this, but no this and no that, and can you add this with no dressing and that on the side?” You just can’t. And while I’ve grown to love that because it has made me so much more adventurous with my eating, it makes doing Whole 30 even more challenging!

There was one working lunch where the team ordered pizza. PIZZA! My love. And it was from this new place that I had heard about that does NY-style slices of pizza that I really wanted to try. The pizza arrives in the conference room. That wonderful pizza-y aroma fills the room. And for a second, I think, ok you can have one. Just one. I quickly snapped out of it, stuck my hand in my bag, and pulled out my packed lunch. I made a commitment. Back to reality. Le sigh.

Don’t clap for me just yet. I did cheat. Approximately 5 times. But all with what I would argue is VERY good reason:

·       Celebrating a friend’s very well-deserved and exciting promotion with a glass of champagne, and then a glass of wine (Day 15)

·       Dining at a delicious restaurant in a castle outside of Maastricht with one of my best friend’s who came all the way from LA. The dinner itself was Whole 30 approved, but there’s no way you can enjoy a phenomenal cote de boef than with anything other than an amazing French red wine (Day 17)

·       Dinner with friends that included hummus – but I ate it with veggies instead of bread! My rationale: it’s not alcohol, chocolate, ice cream, or bread. A little chickpea is not going to kill me. (Day 19)

·       Dining at a Michelin star restaurant (booked BEFORE the Whole 30 commitment) – hard to avoid dessert as part of a tasting menu, and again, a perfectly paired glass of wine (capped at 2 glasses for 5 courses). Earlier that day, knowing I was cheating later on, I may have also had a few French fries. Cheating is bad. Very bad. (Day 20)

·       Having friends over for a Whole 30 approved brunch only to find out one accepted a new job offer and the other got a promotion. Cue bottle of opened champagne here. (Day 26)

Was I proud of these cheats? No. After eating certain foods I felt bad. Not sure if it was mental, but it was enough to make me feel guilty.

So, aside from the above, how did I do? I’d give myself a B+. Here’s why:

·       Aside from the 5 cheats, I think I made a valiant effort. I put a lot into my meal planning/prep and I enjoyed it. I discovered a host of new recipes that I will continue to make. But I still cheated, and I can’t help but think how much progress I could’ve made if I was that much stricter

·       I feel better. SO much better than I have felt in a long time. I have more energy. I am sleeping better. This is the most important of all. But I am still not there yet.

·       I went a little crazy with my fruit and nut intake. While fruits and nuts are allowed on Whole 30 (except for peanuts, those are legumes and not nuts – fun fact!), fruits are full of sugar and nuts are extremely caloric. I found myself overeating these two groups because I’m a snack-er and needed something ‘approved’ to snack on. What I should’ve done is up my protein intake with my meals, wait 20 minutes to get full, and then skip the snacking. See, I know exactly what to do. I still am working on the ‘just do it!’ part

·       And the number on the scale? Well, here’s a funny story. I dropped 2.1 kilos, or 4.6 lbs in the first two days! WHAT? Miracle diet over here! No, actually. I had the flu. So I think that had something to do with it. But I’m convinced I would’ve gotten there eventually after eliminating all the toxins I had been putting in my mouth the last few months. I ended with an overall loss of 2.6 kilos, or 5.7 lbs. Not bad. But I still have a loooong way to go

·       I didn’t get to the gym as much as I would’ve liked this month. Cue the excuses. No, no, really good reason (except for the last one)

o   The flu took me out of the gym for a good 1.5 weeks. Understandable. And I am sure my fellow gym-goers would thank me for keeping my germs home.

o   I have been experiencing terrible back pain and have started seeing a chiropractor. She’s pro-gym, but I felt like I needed to get my back situation under control before returning to lifting weights and doing things that might counteract her work. Not becoming a hunchback at 30 is also part of getting fit again.

o   It’s really cold and dark in Amsterdam. Journeys take time.

Where do I go from here? Well, quite literally to Mexico for 9 days where there will be temptations all around, and while I’ve made no commitment to remain Whole 30 compliant on what I would consider to be my first real vacation (sans laptop!) in 2 years, I am going into this week way more aware of what I put in my body than I was 30 days ago, and that already will help me. Plus, I have a new rule that I can only pack what I will definitely wear, and there are a lot of workout clothes in my bag.

But after Mexico? Being Whole 30 compliant all the time is just not realistic for me. But what I can do is try to stick to a 5/2 rule (5 days compliant, 2 days non), or will definitely continue the meal prep/recipe exploration when I am home. I know what my body likes and what it doesn’t. Am I never going to eat bread again? No. But I’ve tested mind over matter and I know I can do it, so I will think twice before reaching for that piece of bread on the table.

Did I convince you to consider doing Whole 30? Here’s some recipe inspiration from my journey over the last few weeks!

 My first creation: Chinese-style beef and broccoli with cauliflower cabbage rice

 My first-ever attempt at poached eggs. Looks gross, tasted great! 

 A new cauliflower rice recipe with bone-in chicken broth, ghee, and herbs!

 Ginger garlic shrimp with zoodles 

 Lemongrass chicken with bok choy and steamed broccoli 

Chicken and zucchini hash with basil 

Lemon thyme cod with zoodles and brussel sprouts 

 My first attempt at shakshuka - so easy to make, and delicious! 

Breakfast has always been an issue for me. I am not hungry, and don't like breakfast foods. Luckily, I got creative with these egg 'cupcakes', switching up the veggie fillings each week 

 Sesame ginger chicken with sugar snaps 

Getting creative with the sparkling water mocktails 

My Whole 30 Bible!